Smart Internet Marketing at Guruphobia

For some time now there has been a vile syndrome working its way through the Internet Marketing World - I call it the Newbie as Guru Syndrome.

Said Newbie posts on one Marketing Forum (we’ll call it Forum A), struggling to find success, impatient because the big money is not rolling in, and then, in his lastest string of Internet Marketing ventures, finally ends up making…….$75.

A week later said Newbie goes to Forum B, announcing the launch of his latest Internet Marketing Product or Newsletter, or E-book………in which he will divulge the “jealously guarded secrets of Internet Marketing”, so you can be a smashing success.

Just like him.

Sad to say, but I’ve seen this happen with frightening regularity in the Internet Marketing world.  Is it the height of arrogance?  Is it outright fraud?  Is it plain stupidity?

I’ll let you answer that one yourself.

Needless to say, I’ve never seen any Newbie who’s taken the fast Guru track truly succeed.  Typically, they end up back in the wallow of whimpering mediocrity.

See to it that you never follow this strange and embarrassing path.

Mr. P

I own and manage a small mastermind forum, and I moderate at others.

It amazes me to no end how many times I see a Newbie to any phase of Internet Business, having bought a $35 E-Book, a $50 a month membership, or a $1299 Internet Marketing Course come to the game with absolutely unrealistic expectations.

They paid their $35, $50 a month, or $1299 and expect to be making $20,000 a month within 30-days.

Let me be your reality check.  You will fail.

Miserably.

Despite what you may read in a sales letter, or hear in a late-night informercial, starting an Internet Marketing Business takes work.  It takes perserverance.  It takes skill.  It takes luck.  And yes - it takes Capital.

Are Internet Marketing Products too hypey?  One could make a good argument there.

But if you’re stupid enough to buy into the “$20,000 a month with no effort whatsoever” crap, guess what?  You’re the flip side of a decrepit co-dependent Internet Marketing relationship.

Now let me complete the cycle…….you will have failed miserably.  You will blame the product.  You will blame the Guru.  You will blame everybody and everything associated with the product.

But you will not blame yourself.

You should.

And then you will surf over to the next product, forum, or training system that promises $30,000 per month.

And the vicious circle will continue.

Take a hard look in the mirror sometime.

Mr. P

I have bought quite a few big ticket items on Internet Marketing, and I have also purchased some big ticket monthly memberships for various services, forums, topics, and software.  For the most part, I’ve been satisfied with what I’ve purchased.

However, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend lately with what I call the “tier two” gurus who are selling big ticket items or memberships.

Here’s an example.  I became aware of an Internet Marketing related monthly membership site that promised to provide training and techniques about a certain aspect of website building.  The site charged a 3-figure sum PER MONTH to belong to this membership.  The sales letter was a usual hype-fest, and used the “scarcity” trick (”only 75 member slots left!!!”).

The site also had a companion online video that did more pitching and explaining of the service……………and at the very end of the video (as well as on the sales letter) an e-mail address appeared.  The guru earnestly asked viewers to send in their questions, and he would answer them personally.

And you’re damned right I had some questions…………after all, he was asking for a handsome membership fee.  So I took him up on his offer and e-mailed him.  I waited for one day, two days, three days………no answer.  Ok, he might be overwhelmed with new members and new questions.  So I thought I’d cut him some slack, and e-mailed him again.  Then, one day goes by……..two days, three……you get the idea.  So now 6 days after my second e-mail, I’m a bit pissy……..and out of SHEER CURIOSITY, I try to e-mail him a THIRD TIME.  That was 4 weeks ago.

Needless to say, I was more than a bit pissed about this entire episode, and here I am, your DIRECT demographic………with spendable funds, willing to part with 3-figures monthly to belong to your little club.  And because of your disingenuine offer to field and reply “personally” to all e-mails:

• You’ve forever lost me (and my considerable disposable monthly income) as a cash-spinning customer.
• I will express my displeasure at this experience, every chance I get to my similarly well-funded peers and associates.
• And for the guru who introduced you to me in one of your e-mails, I will always regard any further recommendations and introduction you make with suspicion, if not outright cynicism.

All because you made a big deal about your “personal” service and presumed “interest” in your customer’s needs.

And guess what, weeks later I revisited the sales page site, and guess what I saw - “only 75 member slots left!!!”.  So much for scarcity.

Stay far, far away from me, sonny……………you’re now radioactive.

Mr. P

When I first started contemplating Guruphobia I pondered platforms.

I heard good things about Expression Engine (EE).

On paper EE looks fantastic, and is full of features.  New to blogging, I let the feature list seduce me and I bit hard.  I even plunked down for a Commercial license, because……….you never know.

Installation was straightforward, but I noticed something straight away.  The load times sucked.  Seven seconds to load a nearly empty home page?  I asked around and the common answer I got was: “your webhost is slow”.  I didn’t buy it, as I have other accounts with my webhost running scripts, and none slog down like this.

After several months of inactivity, I finally got back around to this blog…………..and the load times got even slower. So, in a decisive moment, I deleted Expression Engine and moved to Wordpress.

Besides being free of charge, Wordpress is one of the most widely used Blog Platforms around.  What does this mean?  Lots of templates to use, lots of plugins, and lots of community support.

Best of all?  Load time of about 1.6 seconds.  (Same exact webhost, by the way).

Hi,

And my name is…………well………call me Mr. P. (I was going to use “X”, but it seems the internet marketing world is now littered with “X” types…….)

You see, this site/blog is a bit of an anomaly. I’m somewhat of a veteran in the World Wide Web world (veteran = Mosaic user, if you don’t know what “Mosaic” is, well Sonny, the first web browser).

I was there when the first entrepreneurs began marketing their wares on the Internet, most often to universal scorn from the “information is free” crowd, mostly trolling on Usenet (look it up, Sonny).

I was the first ever Internet Marketing Manager for a large multi-national corporation, back when corporate execs didn’t even know what a web browser was. As such, I had a budget of about $300,000 to “go play” and create a national web presence (they spend tens of millions now for this.)

So I’ve got some experience in the web marketing game. But I’m not here to impress you with my credentials.

I’m mainly here to vent. To spew my opinions. Hopefully to lower my blood pressure (my cardiologist tells me not to internalize all my stress and anger). And in so doing, perhaps help a few newbies or intermediate web marketers along the way.

Why the anonymity? Well, I’m not a dot-com millionaire, but I am very comfortable. Unlike some of the “dreamers” out there (a topic for another entry), I have a very good, high-paying job. And I’m not going to jeopardize that job by putting up a neon sign announcing my newest business project on the web.

I also have a couple of growing, prospering internet business that I’ve cultivated along the way, all on the side. Sites that will lead me to an early retirement from the real world. And I’m also not going to jeopardize these either.

Thus anonymity. “Like a warm cocoon”, ya know?

I’ve always admired Stanley Bing, the “anonymous” columnist for Fortune Magazine who satirized Corporate Business life. But after awhile, I realized Bing is so…….analog, ya know?

So I’d thought I’d do something similar, but focus mainly on the life of an Internet Small Business Owner. Providing some tips, some observations, some critiques, and perhaps just a bit of an off-kilter view of the web small business world.

So welcome.

And stay tuned.

- Mr. P